A Letter to Men About Roe v Wade

Dear men,

I write to you as a young, white, privileged woman in Boulder, CO. A state that abortion rights will hopefully remain in place. I am angry and sad not for myself but for the women who do not have easy access to abortion rights, birth control, and who cannot afford to travel to a place in which these rights exist. My heart aches for the rape victims who did not choose to have semen forcibly injected into them, to the young women who’s parents would disown them for taking birth control or making their own decisions for their bodies. To those who have been anxiously waiting months for their upcoming abortion appointments that will no longer be happening. To the women who will now result in other unsafe measures to terminate their unwanted pregnancy. Even though I may not be directly affected, the meaning behind this court decision affects all women greatly. As women, from a young age we are subject to things that you couldn’t even fathom. At 10 years old there were men photographing us from behind, whistling at us as we passed by with our parents. We have grown accustomed to being objectified but we will not allow men to tell us what to do with our bodies. It is not your choice. It is ours. I ask you for your support, to stand by us women, to listen to us, and to allow us to feel pain. Women have been fighting for around 200 years to gain rights and equality. The ruling of the overturning of Roe v. Wade marks a day  in which it feels that all that women have fought for may come to an end. This decision is not only about abortion but it is about our rights as women in a country that has been built on the power of white men. So when we ask for you to stand by us, we know that there is so much more to the story that you will not understand. Your support is appreciated and needed in order for us to keep the rights that we have long fought for.

After attending the rally in West Hollywood I realized that there are both men, women, and non binary people who do understand the severity of this topic. Trans men have also experienced sexual assult and share the same autonomy as me or any women. However, I address my letter to men because at the core of American politics white men have been the ones in power. Yes there are a few women Supreme court Justices but as a whole our country’s power is in the hands of men and it is mostly men who have been struggling to understand the severity of this issue because they do not view pregnancy and understand the damage that has been done to our bodies.

In addition to what I wrote in my letter I want to further explain my argument regarding abortion. I was asked by a white male in his early 30s why a women would get an abortion if she hadn’t been raped. My first reaction was anger and rage toward this white extremist man. I thought he would never understand my side of the argument so why would I even try? I then remembered that by not responding I was contributing to the problem. Conversations need to be had between people with opposing ideas. Part of the reason the country is so immensely fucked is due to how polarized our nation is. People who do not share the same viewpoints refuse to talk and listen to each other, making it so that we will never understand one another. So, I decided to respond. I said, To answer your question, the reason the 99% of women who weren’t raped are getting abortion simply put is because they don’t want to have a baby and that is fully their decision to make. Whether you agree with it or not is your opinion and that is totally okay but you as a white man do not get the power to decide what a woman does with her body. To go deeper into it, there are several reasons a woman may choose not to have a baby. Having a child is a big decision and responsibility. It is a full time job. You do not get to decide to have a day off whether you are sick, tired, have broken limbs, etc. A mother must care for their child at all times. Some women make the decision because they are too young and need to prioritize school, some women make the decision because they do not have a significant other or family that can help and support them through the process, some make the decision because they cannot afford to have a child and would not be able to put food on that child’s plate, some make the decision because they are addicted to drugs or alcohol which would greatly affect the child’s health and life. I think we had a conversation on the plane about your journey to finding God and some of the trials and tribulations it took to get there. During those vastly hard times do you think you could raise, provide and be a good father to a child? Coming from a family in which I have two adopted brothers and have had 4 foster sisters, I am very familiar with the foster care system and the problems with it. Honestly it can really fuck you up. Not having parents that love you is extremely detrimental to a child’s mental and physical health. So yes if a woman is not ready to care for their child it is fully their decision to make. Ask any mother if having a child is easy. Even those women who are against abortion would agree that raising a kid is not an easy thing to do. This man may not change his opinion but at least he heard mine and what he chooses to do with what I said is his choice. Maybe he thinks it is all nonsense and will never look at it again or maybe he will think about my words the next time abortion comes up in a conversation. All we can do is try. My goal is to spread love, be kind to others, and try my best to accept others' opinions. When talking about abortion, however, we speak of an issue regaurding human rights. People are welcome to have their own opinions regarding the matter but at the end of the day it should be the individual choice of the women. This goes far beyond politics, religion, and what most men can understand.