Taking Off

Flying over Denver. Rain gently tapping the window next to me as the plane accelerates eastward. Leaving home. Leaving my friends, family, and all I know. I watch the raindrops as my own vision begins to blur, forming raindrops of their own in the form of tears. It is September 22nd, 2024. The first day of fall. The leaves have just began breaking down thier chloryphyll, changing into beautiful shades of yellows and orange in preparation for winter. They have not yet reached the earthly persimmon orange or deep maple red that can only be described by fall. I feel a sadness for the seasons that will be missed and already feel a relentless longing for cold winter mornings, and brisk snowy nights. I will miss ski days, hungover Sunday brunches with my bestfriends, and the priveledge of a warm shower. I fear the long heat of the summer and inevitable loneliness. It is okay that I am afraid, for only in fear may I truly escape comfort. And without escaping comfort growth cannot be had. I am excited about the months ahead. I am excited to meet the strangers that will soon become my family. I can't wait for the heart felt covos, silly nights, and the warmth of human connection.

I am leaving. My wings are beginning to spread in preparation for the many adventures that have been perfectly placed along my path. I will learn and unlearn. I will unravel, tangle, untangle, and become rewired. In the next 27 months I will meet a women named Ava-Rae. Her head will be held high and her wisdom will be immense. She will still be me, as I will her, both forms of us existing within the world. I also will bring old versions of myself along for the journey. Young Ava-Rae who spoke Spanish with her best friend Aurora and loved Barbies will aid in the effort of immersion. A hot-headed, sassy teenage version of me will assisst in preparation for the hardships. The Ava-Rae that has spent the past four years in university is equipped with the ability to aquire and apply knowledge, helping in my ability to improve my Spanish, learn Guaraní, assimilate to a new culture and living environmemnt, and soon put my technical skills to the test.

The trillions of vibrating cells in my body hold experience, emotions, and memories from the past 22 years. I am proud of the Ava-Rae I am today and eager to meet the woman that I will soon become. I will hold with me pieces of home in the chronicles of my mind. For now, the mountains I climb may have to be metaphoric and snow may require sorting through the archives of my hippocampus. My friends and family will exist alongside me throught the words written in their letters and the photos that I brought along with me. I am ready because I am here. The door has been opened and I am currently walking  in as chapters from my passt life are closing, but remain written into the book of my life and ingrained into my DNA forever.

Chao a mi casita, a Colorado, a mis amigos quein me dieron la seguridad de volar por el mundo, y mis padres que me dieron la libertad y confianza de tomar un camino inusual.

Gracias a todos. Sin Ustedes no estaria aqui viviendo mis sueños.

Mb'aichapa Paraguay ! Soy lista para las adventuras y desafíos que voy a encontrar.

Con Amor,

Ava-Rae (Eva en Paraguayana)