The Importance of Being Alone
Over the past few years I have spent a lot of time alone. From being in Rome in the middle of a Covid peak, to spending the summer of 2022 in LA alone, to now being abroad again in Lisbon.
I have always enjoyed my alone time but wasn’t always quite sure what to do with myself and often felt quite awkward alone, especially in public. Now, however, I feel quite powerful when I am alone. My time alone is my time to recharge, to take care of myself and allows me to make sure I am being a good friend and family member to those around me. For a very long time I have placed other people’s needs in front of my own. This is one of my strengths, but also one of my biggest downfalls. Making sure other people are happy and have their needs met is great, until you realize that you haven’t checked in on yourself for days, weeks or even months. Ignoring our own needs and desires, leads us down a dark spiral of unhappiness, confusion, and ultimately we become so lost in what others need that we forget the things that make us who we are.
When I am alone, however, it is just me that I have to please. I can eat what I want, think what I want, go where I want, do what I want, and say what I want. I strongly believe that learning to spend time with just yourself is a powerful tool that can make you a better person, friend, and lover. No matter what, we will always have ourselfs. From the second we are born to the moment we pass our souls along to the divine side, the only guaranteed relationship is with the self. Why do we choose to pour time and energy into every other relationship while ignoring the one that may be the most important? Even when we are with other people we are with ourselves. If you are on a date with a partner or out with friends, guess who is also there? You. If you aren’t happy with yourself it is really hard to enjoy the company of other people. A negative or non existing relationship with the self will affect any relationship with another human being. Only once you get to know yourself, your needs, wants, and desires, is when you can build meaningful, lasting relationships with others.
Time alone is so incredibly valuable and will make not only you a better person but will also make your relationships stronger. Go on a date with yourself. Write yourself a love letter. Find the nitty gritty things that bring a smile to your face, find the things that make you unique and different from the rest of the 7 billion people on this planet. You are special, I am special, the person sitting next to you has a gift to share with the world. Find peace and love for yourself and I rest assure you that love from other sources will follow.